remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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