whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
