the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize