Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
