It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
