Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just threw up on my dentist
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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