I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
