Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
