Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
