shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
