well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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