i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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