what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
