I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
