I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize