HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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