Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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