so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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