hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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