Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
