If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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