you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
