The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
