I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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