Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
