I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
