I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
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at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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