I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
