Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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