I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
