so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Rumble strips road head = magical
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
