we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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