I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
