arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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