May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
