No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Nicole vs. Life
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
