I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
