I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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