Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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