So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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