No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Barsexuality is the new black.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
