Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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