I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize