what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
