Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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