nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
