i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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