I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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