If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
