Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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