He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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