We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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