Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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