Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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