i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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