What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
