Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She swung at the pinata with crutches
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
