I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
