I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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