I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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