This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
