If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
